The Spaces In Between

Each December I love to review the year that is ending, and to look back on my blog archives, which chronicle my journey through grad school and my post-PhD life over the last six years. (I haven’t always written a review, but for anyone who would also like to delve into the archive, here are the years I previously reviewed: 2012, 2013, 2016, and 2017.)

This year seemed to be a particularly long year–it’s hard to believe that the Black Panther came out this year, and politically, 2018 was a “garbage fire” as my favorite podcasters on How to Survive the End of the World say. (2018 was the year that I finally started listening to podcasts! I love How to Survive the End of the World, Bear Brook, Bad with Money, How to Be a Girl, New Hampshire Public Radio’s Outside/In, Making Gay History, VS. and many more!) Financially and job-wise, the beginning of the year was pretty rough for me. But there have also been some really amazing moments in 2018, and I am excited to remember them here.

After adjuncting at Towson in Fall 2017, I decided not to adjunct there again in Spring 2018, even though I loved teaching Women’s Studies there for the semester. I realized I was able to make the same amount of money babysitting as adjuncting, and thought that I might actually be more productive if I was working odd jobs instead of teaching.

My Grandma had surgery that winter, so I also wanted the flexibility to travel to see my grandparents in England, and in February, I flew “across the pond” to stay with them. I am privileged to have been able to travel so frequently in the last few years; it has been important for my mental health and for strengthening bonds with friends and family. I am also really grateful for friends and family who paid for flights and took care of me while I was in Europe for two months. I visited with a close friend from college and her new baby. I spent days in London with my best friend from my middle-school days on the Isle of Wight. I rode bikes in the Netherlands with a friend from high-school , and I worked as a camp counselor at an English immersion camp outside of Barcelona. I also worked on my book proposal and thought a lot about writing and publishing.

And I applied to job after job after job. I managed to get a few more interviews while abroad, which was a bit tricky, juggling calls overseas, and worrying about whether I would be flying back for a job interview before I had planned to leave. But I was also grateful for each bit of hope those interviews gave in terms of the job search, even if I never made it past the final round.

In April, I returned to the US to present at two conferences. I participated on a round-table discussion, “Caring for Trans* Kids” at the Childhood Studies Symposium at Pittsburgh University and presented a paper, ““Desisters and De-Transitioners: A Critical Analysis of Arguments Against Childhood Transition” at the DC Queer Studies Symposium. Then at the end of the month, I applied to and got a job at Amherst College!

It was a last-minute hire, and I learned about the position through a professor I babysat for who had seen it posted by an academic acquaintance on Facebook. It was a good lesson in the power of connections/networks. And it was an important lesson about applying even if you don’t think you are a perfect fit for a job. I almost didn’t apply because the ad said, “Preference will be given to a candidate whose scholarly background is in the Social Sciences, Science Policy, Medicine, and/or Technology”  and I thought, “That’s not me.” But my work on transgender children examines the medical narratives around children’s gender and sexuality, so I emphasized that in my cover letter, and it turns out that the person who was leaving for the year also does work on transgender children and teaches trans studies, which meant I was a good fit for the position!

The summer was a whirlwind of packing, and moving stuff from Towson to my parents, and then from my parents’ house to Massachusetts. In June/July I spent three weeks at Camp Aranutiq, a summer camp for trans kids in New Hampshire, working as the art director, and returned there again for family camp in late August. You can read about some of the stories from Family Camp here. 

At the beginning of September, I went to England for a weekend in between new faculty orientation, and the start of classes. My best friend, Kavita, from the Isle of Wight was getting married, and there was no way I was going to miss her wedding!! It was a magical day and I am glad that I could be there, and I gave a toast, reflecting on a friendship of almost 2 decades, and wishing her much happiness with her new husband (who I also adore).

I have never done the trans-atlantic crossing and back in such a short time-frame, and the first few weeks of the semester were exhausting, but I soon got into the swing of things. There is nothing like a New England fall, and Pippin (my dog) and I have greatly enjoyed the outdoors the last few months. We have gone on countless walks through the woods and up the mountain trails, observing many a gorgeous sunset and sunrise, enjoying the brisk, clear, cold air, and marveling at the riot of colors as the leaves changed.

I am not sure how I will survive the New England winter, but overall I am so, so happy to be in MA for the year. (I have always wanted to live near Northampton, which is one reason I applied to a one year visiting position at Amherst, despite being hesitant to apply to other short-term positions). I have a lovely apartment surrounded by woods and fields full of critters, including coyotes, bears, porcupines, and flying squirrels!

I also love the students at Amherst and the Five Colleges, and had a fantastic time teaching small seminars like The Queer and Trans Child this semester, and I am looking forward to teaching LGBTQ Life Trajectories and (Self)-Representations of Trans Identities (my new course) next Spring. I am slowly building community in Western Mass. and another counselor from summer camp, who also moved to the area at the same time that I did, has become a close friend. Outside of teaching and hiking, this fall I have enjoyed lots of cooking, needle-felting, and writing letters to loved ones.

I had the wonderful experience of going to the Translating Identity Conference at the University of Vermont in early November, and Alison Bechdel walked into the zine workshop that I was attending! What a delight it was to watch all the young people (high-school and college students) there freak out because their idol had just walked in the door. (I was freaking out inside from excitement a bit myself). I was happy to learn how relevant her work is to young queer folks today, and as we made zines together I told her that I teach her book Dykes to Watch Out For in almost all of my classes.

In November I also went to the National Women’s Studies Association conference, and it was lovely to catch up with colleagues from my grad school days and other researchers who write about transgender children, like Dan Travers, and Jules Gil-Peterson. I also met some other scholars who are doing work at the intersection of queer studies and childhood studies, and expanded my academic twitter network.

Now, it is Winter Break, and I am in Maryland, visiting family and friends for the holidays and New Year. My grandparents are with us, which has been fantastic. I treasure every moment that I get to spend with them. I am also excited to be able to spend time this January with friends in the DC area who have newborns, and other loved ones. It feels good to be back in the state that I called home for so long.

As December approaches its end, and we look towards January, I wish you all a Happy Solstice, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year. I hope that you are able to be with loved ones (bio or otherwise) and can celebrate the turning of another year. I also know that this time of year can be a rough one if you have lost someone or have estranged family relationships, and I am sending extra love into the universe for any of you who are struggling in those ways.